There’s a Reason You’ve Never Heard Anything Good About Aeroflot

To their credit, the service is relatively attentive and we received our kosher meals without a hitch. But have you ever been in an airplane where the bathroom stank so badly that you held it in rather than deal with the trauma of going to pee? On the way to China, we actually had a decent kosher dinner, supervised by the Chabad in Moscow. But you can imagine our surprise when we received the exact same meal four hours later for breakfast! I’m sorry, but chicken and rice for breakfast is a little bit nauseating. The planes that we flew on were these bizarre Soviet-era aircraft, Ilyushin something-or-other, that are designed to be painful. For example, the tray tables are difficult to open and close—when the person in front of you reclines their seat, well, I hope you like having a shelf in your crotch. And if you don’t, you only have one option: make life miserable for the person in front of you. That can include things like kicking their seat, shaking the tray table, or (and this is the most common method) simply pushing the seat forward and demanding that the person not recline.

Oh, and the other bizarre thing? Every seat has a buzzer for the flight attendants that ring throughout the cabin, waking anyone trying to sleep, read, or relax. It’s really quite obnoxious and infuriating. Did I mention these buttons are located on every seat, including the two seven-year-olds in front of me who are pressing the buttons like they’re some sort of video game?